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U Min Kyaw, The Burmese God of Drinking, and his horse, "Ol' Paint".
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Synopsis for: "The Pagoda of Booze"
This is a tale of "Oo Min Kyaw, The Burmese God of Drinking."
Oo Min Kyaw is a discarded temple idol in the old city of Mandalay, Burma. He is the Burmese god of drinking, an ancient deity who is typically of great popularity by night, but understandably reviled the morning after. It is one of Oo Min Kyaw's worst mornings in an era when hedonism seems forgotten and he is so down on his luck he can't even pay rent on the horse's stable where he and his trusty wooden steed, "Ol' Paint", reside outside the crumbling ruins of the Palace of Mandalay.
Oo Min Kyaw awakes with a hangover to the sound of the landlord nailing an eviction notice to the stable door. In a dazed panic he seizes on a plan that can get him out of his bad situation: Though Oo Min Kyaw has drank away a fortune, he is still the very proud owner of a handsome mustache, and many have commented that it surely must be the most wondrous mustache in the world. He has heard tell of the "Mr. Desert mustache contest" in faraway Rajasthan, India, a competition for excellence in mustaches. He is confident that should he enter this contest he cannot but triumph effortlessly. No more will he be an antiquated figure of an obscure Burmese folk tradition, but by the magnificence of his mustache he will heap untold glory upon himself . . . perhaps taking his place among the lights of the Bombay Cinema, . . . such are his daydreams as he and Ol' Paint sneak out the back of the stable and through the back alleys of Mandalay.
Of course he never makes it across the Himalayas because just outside of Mandalay, not long after crossing the Irrawaddy river, he discovers alongside the road a pagoda full of booze that resembles in form his hat, and finding all things that in any way resemble or relate to himself irresistable he is compelled to liberate the booze from within this sacred monument. Oo Min Kyaw is, afterall, a god, and so it is no problem for him to tip the temple completely upside down and drain all the booze he can from the Pagoda's spire, however since the supply is endless he must stop drinking or he will burst. He gets so drunk that he funnels the booze into his horse's mouth. The horse and master dance and cavort gaily in their intoxication. Then Oo Min Kyaw passes out. The drunken steed's character shifts from loyal to devious and the horse hatches a crafty scheme to steal Oo Min Kyaw's mustache and leave his master behind in his helpless stupor as he, "Ol' Paint", gallops off to win the honor of being "Mr. Desert", and moreover the first ever equine mustache champion!! However, Ol' Paint underestimates his master who is not one to give up his mustache without a fight . . .
A desperate, strange, and drunken mustache tug-o-war ensues between horse and master, and it would seem that Ol' Paint prevails when the coveted mustache has transferred to his upper horse lip. However, since Oo Min Kyaw is a god, it is only fitting that he can pull anything he wants out of his hat. He produces an enormous clothe's iron and irons his horse flat.
As night falls the exhausted Oo Min Kyaw take's his flattened horse and curls up to sleep in what is now a "horse blanket". Oo Min Kyaw is fast asleep when thundering footsteps can be heard, as though Godzilla himself were approaching.
Enormous barefeet are crushing trees beneath them. But it is no monster, rather it is an immense statue of the Buddha taking a moonlight stroll, and leaving gargantuan Buddha footprints all across Asia. Buddha comes across the sleeping Oo Min Kyaw, and perceives the tragedy that has taken place between the drunken god and his horse. Buddha sits down beside them and begins to cry, and gradually his tears flood the courtyard of the Pagoda of Booze where they are situated. As the flood of tears rises to drown them all the horse takes on a new form. From his flattened self that is saturated with the tears of the Buddha, Ol' Paint is transformed into a magnificently gleaming '46 Triumph motorcyle that is balanced on the surface of the water with engine idleing. The Buddha mounts the motorcycle, and scoops up the unconscious Oo Min Kyaw into the drinking god's magic hat, straps the hat on like a helmet, and with a roar of the engine flies off into the starry sky.
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